Monday, March 28, 2011


Last rotten post. i promise. :D
So i meant to finish my 2010 blogging long ago, especially after ending my last as i did. Sorry if i confused anyone...
(thank you nicole for letting me use my emails to you as my posts.. they were my at the moment experience. Thank you for that and a million things.)
SO ...the last day in disneyland i found out i was pregnant again. I was super super exctied. We went in for our 8 week, 1st appointment for our 2nd baby and the second i saw that pitch black sac i knew. it was so empty. :( i wanted to run out of there. go back to bed. hope to wake up again and start the day over. Everything felt so normal, like with my Brynlee. The Dr looked and looked and looked. nothing. He was trying to be optimistic, but he was not hopeful. He told us to come back in a week to see if anything had developed, but he was pretty sure it was a blighted ovum.. Thats basically a Sac with no baby in it. For some reason or another it just didnt form, or it did and something wasnt totally right in the beginning so it stopped. I didnt know how to feel, other than Heartbroken.

our appointment didnt go as we hoped on the 17th. Our sac was bigger, and still just as empty. It was starting to "collapse" in places, but kept growing in others, so the dr. felt it would be safer to take care of it sooner than later for my safety. we went to the temple the day before and felt so much better. going into the appointment i just had a feeling of peace. that no matter what we saw it would be ok. I told my dr before we started that i didnt want to rush a d&c but wanted my body to start on its own.. but for some reason after seeing it again, and talking to my husband we both felt like it wasnt time for this horrible and sad as it felt, but that we would be blessed with more later.

side note..I really have liked my dr. He's nice, and he'll answer any questions. He gave us lots of good "im sorry guys".. but at this appointment with him.. while we're still discussing the definite unviability of this pregnancy he's sidestepping to the door. Now i know i've kept him..5 whole min. but this is important to me to know 100% that im making the correct choice...he's one of those really GOOD medical kind of dr's but im beginning to see what happens when you get TOO busy and stop being a good PERSON kind of dr.

So, he doesnt like the size and shape of the sac. My husband and i talk, and we decide the D&C is what we should do. My dr's office has a Medical section downstairs.. so i scheduled it for the next morning so that my Dr. who i was most comfortable with,... could do the procedure. It was that fast or wait 2 weeks when he worked again. we scheduled it for 10:30 am the next day..

The morning came. i was all kinds of emotional. so im ok one second. not the next. you know how these hormones are. even in normal situations. but in this one. they are even more of a roller coaster. So we wait. and wait. we wait in the waiting room for over an hour. Then they call us back. have me change and go to the prep room for the iv part. so i change. we go in there, and wait.. and wait. uncomfortable in a robe, crying every few min. husband is fuuuming that im sitting there so long waiting. One more hour goes by. Lots of On and off moments with my own depleting box of tissues. The most wonderful nurse in the world is in and out to check on me.. give me an iv, and talk me through things. .. She said the Anesthesiologist will be in to talk to me, then also dr biere, my dr will come in. Well after waiting an hour and 45 min in the room the anesthesiologist comes in for a couple seconds excuses my husband and takes me to the OR. A big sweet, gentle husky biker looking man with a big tatoo helps me untie my gown and helps me onto the table, and the anethesiologist gives me a quick dose of some great meds..and im out. I wake up sobbing with my sweet nurse wiping my tears in the recovery room. thank heavens for her. we wait a bit longer, they get my husband there, and tell me how it went. There was more bleeding.. (im sorry this is so too much information i know.. but i think as im just typing its helping release some of the feelings. anyways i had to get some monster shot in my thigh to simmer down the bleeding, and increase the cramping. so my sweet nurse go that taken care of while i was still out :D. yay again for her. Well they help me get dressed, then help me up and out.

Notice anyone missing during that whole ordeal. .. How about my Lame Dr! He didnt come in to see me ONCE. i was IN HIS FLIPPING OFFICE FOR 3 HOURS before he came in. i mean a flight of stairs away! Thats why i wanted it there and not up the street at the hospital. I understand the anesthesiologist was quick with the meds, so maybe i fell asleep before he came in. but what about the 2 hours i was waiting in my robe, worrying and crying about the whole situation. sitting on a cold chair. waiting. And what about the hour Post Op? Cant you come see how i am. or tell me how it went. walk down the stairs to say anything to us?? Its not like i was having a normal procedure. i was losing a baby. that may be just routine to him, but i feel like how heartless can a person get?! Dont I deserve to be concerned about.. from my DR?! I I wish i was so brave that i could look a Dr in the eye and tell him he's an over scheduled insensitive jerk who cares more about fitting as many women into his day, than whats really important... I wish i could be so bold and brave.. lets get real..

my sisters dr. wiped my sisters tears during her miscarriages. she held her hand during the IV.

I hate change. I hate the trial and error period in finding someone youre comfortable with. after that i hated my dr.

So i was supposed to go back in 2-4 weeks later for a post op. yea, i went somewhere else for sure. My new dr now is wonderful and all things are as they should be. Hopefully soon i'll be able to post about a new happy pregnancy, but that i have learned will be on the lords time, not mine.. :D

Friday, February 4, 2011

October 2010

This is soo late.. and by time i get to the next post i'll probably have another

Disneyland post to do.
What can I say. We are Disneyland Junkies. :D
So last OCTOBER We planned a trip to Disneyland. My parents were already in Cali on an Anniversary trip so we planned the trip around them so they could meet us for the last part of their trip and enjoy some Disney fun. We invited all who could come..(wishin ash and kt couldve) And headed out.

So here's the scratch on the knee about this trip.
October is one of our favorite Times to go to Disneyland because its essentially dead.
No lines. No crowds. Ever... or so i though.
i forgot about three rotten letters.
Someone once told me that it stands for Utah Enters Anaheim, And now I believe it!
It was SOOO Crowded.. and a tiny bit dissapointing to tell you the truth.
I recently read a friends blog who went to Disneyland and the park met it Compassity~and her post was STILL about how wonderful it was.
And she is right
Its Disneyland after all. Right?!
Who cares about the crowds. It is afterall the Happiest Place on Earth!
So thats all i'll say about the bummer part.
Here are the Wonderful parts~for there are many more to show you.
.. and now a picture post. lots of pictures. some commentary :D

Boo LOVED the shuttle bus on the way to the park.
even if her face doesnt show it. :D
See? Even walking INTO the park looks happy!
Brynlee Boo did ALOT of this. Running running running and Laughing..
Hair is done.. First Visit Pins on! Time for Disneyland.
Look at boo's face. She's not amused.
Jett is handsome.
and Marley seems to be enjoying her new pin. Yum. :D
Lundynns First time in Disneyland.
The cute Baldwins
Shane met up with us later in the week.
The cute Mathews
Cute Aunt Alesa with Deedle (grey) to see Lightning McQueen!

Waiting Outside Tower of Terror.
I love this picture. Arent these boys cute?! Deedle loves his Uncle Jon.

We LOVED the stroller passes.
Half our group would go in on a ride. And Half of us would hang out with the kids.
Then we'd swap. :D Best time saver ever.

Gma Theresa with Marley Moo meeting Chip and Dale.
Deedle being silly in the Tower of Terror gift Shop. Silly Mad Hatter!!

And here's where the rest of our group was.. :D

Look how cute Marley is on the Lady Bug ride. How cute is it that Erin AND Paul took her on this. SO cute!

Gmpa Keith and Alesey takin Jett and Grey on the bugs life ride.

Boo did NOT want to ride this Carrosell.. until i put her on the horse and it started moving.. After that she LOVED it. Can you tell?
This was before she liked the horse and we rode it on the Bench.

see? more running. and laughing.
..because if you stop.. even for a second....
your Grandma will catch you!! :D
.. thats usually just as fun as running though.

Now, some wouldve advised against this. And normally i wouldnt have given her something so big .. with such a huge sticky mess potential...
But isnt life more fun when you can get sticky and messy once and a while?
Especially in Disneyland!

This was one of the Funniest parts of the trip. We were sitting waiting for a parade to start.. and Jett and Brynlee went into the empty street and started Dancing.
Look at Jett here!
He was pullin out all these moves that you cant even imagine. Everyone was laughing so hard. He was the pre show entertainment and he LOVED it. Dana was embarrassed, but we all thought it was hilarious. Brynlee tried to imitate Jett and danced around with her sucker in hand. :D
Ha ha. I got a turkey leg and we took funny pictures of us eating it like savages. I dont know where my picture went though.... :D haha. those are yuuumy.
a little more cute performing.. and the parade was about to begin..
Boo had the Best seat in the park!
i adore this picture.
Alesey.. you are the cutest.
Paul and Marley moo loved the Parade!

And for this reason, this darling picture of my sweet baby, i could care less about the sticky mess that we ended up using half our wipes to clean up.
I mean come on. Doesnt that sticky cheek just add to the cuteness!?
This cute, happy, sticky face is why we love Disneyland so much.
Look at the pure happiness. ha ha ha. Melts my heart into a sticky pile of goo. :D

Gma Theresa and Moo enjoying the parade together too!

Mom and Keith were seriously standing there waiting for the train and talking.. and i thought it looked so cute and cheesey so i took a picture..

I made them smile for this one.
isnt it so cute. It only took me about 20 times to get it.
I'll show you why later. Keith likes to do anything but smile in pictures..
And sometimes Erin wants to join the fun! ha ha ha.

DAY 2!!
First thing we did on the Second day was go wait in line at Pixie Hollow to see the Faries.
There was a tiny line so we jumped right in line. (tiny meant not 2 hours minimum. we still waited at least 45 min and chatted with all the utah teachers and families around us. UEA.. uh..)
Boo Loved looking at all the fairy houses. She was in heaven.
Smelling all the Big Flowers!
looking at all the cool fairy things!!
And then it was our turn. Boo was nervous. (she had a bad little habit of biting her nails when she was nervous... and speaking of bad. my hair. yikes. )
tink was darling.
and of course as soon as we walked out she wouldnt stop saying "tinka bell!!"

This was a lucky little moment.. we were walking by Snow Whites fountain, and there she was! She was the sweetest thing ever! Brynlee loved her. She just stood there and smiled at her!

This is a Cute Daddy with his Boo on Dumbo.

Oh how i wish she'd keep things on her head. Look how cute! i wouldve bought them if i knew she wouldnt through them off faster than i can even get a good picture. O well. maybe next time. she's such a cute minnie~

Its a small world=toddler bliss.
even in line. :D
Hi Paul and Erin.

Now i must explain the next 4 pictures. Yes i know they look identicle..but let me refer back to a previous picture. rememember the one with mom and keith. Rememeber i meantioned how it took me 20 shots.. here's why.
This is what happends when i try to get keith to smile for a picture.
Mom and Alesa. I apologize for the random duplicates.
Watch Keith in the Back.

Me: "Smile Guys! Cute alesa. Mom. grey. Keith. look here and smile"
Cute of everyone.. but .. Keith!!! One more time..

"say cheese! "....."KEITH!!!....
He is the Funniest Dad in the world. ha ha ha. He really doest this all the time.. and its soooo funny!!! ha ha ha I love him!
Moo LOVED its a small world. She did this pretty much the whole time!!
Cute Gma Theresa and Deedle. What a sweetie.
i love this face. She'd just woken from a nap so the energy was craaazy!
see... look at her joy.. freedom.. running.. this is WONDERFUL!!!
jon doesn't look as thrilled.
this one made me nervous. in the sea of strollers lets play a game of where's Brynlee. Can you see her? she's there. She was just moving WAY too fast for Jon. yikes.
just more running..
...and laughing...because when youre 1, who cares about the crowds!
We had special tickets for later that night after the park closed to dress up and go to the Halloween Party.
Boo as you can see was Minnie Mouse.
Like i said earlier, she wont keep ears on
So i made her Pigtails be her Minnie ears.

Jett was an awesome Iron Man!
Grey was a Basketball player. A TIRED basketball player who slept through all the trick or treating and Dance Parties.
This is a better picture of her Minnie Ears.
Brynlee LOVED the Halloween Party. She was so hyper for it being so late~
Even Moo was super happy!
There were big Character dance parties throughout the park. This is Buzz Lightyears Dance Party. It was so Cute. And so fun!
See how much fun Jon was having?!
We were waiting for the firework show.
(Does anyone find it interesting that men can walk for hours straight playing golf, but as soon as they are shopping.. or.. say.. waiting for something, like fireworks, all they can concentrate on is finding the nearest seat..or in this case the nearest germ, gum, and popcorn infested spot in the middle of the street to lay down on? funny guy!)
.. And then later there was the parade!! Look at B's Face. She was in Heaven!!
She danced the entire time!
and LOOK! Deedle even woke up to see the parade!! he's so cute.

You'd think she'd be out of energy at this point.. but she was still just bounding off the walls!

Our last day at the park. Jon was really sick with the stomach flu, so he stayed in the hotel all day while we went to the park.

We got lucky here too. We were just in the Animation Building here and all of a sudden Mickey, Cinderella and Woody came walking in.
This Picture is from Playhouse Disneys Live show. It was soooo cute. They shot out leaves during the My Friends Tigger and Pooh part. Im so sad that show is over. total bummer. Boo LOVED it. She gathered as many paper leaves as she could before they cleaned up. :D

We had time for one last ride...

got back to the Hotel and Boo CRASHED!

And then the sad day came.. and we had to go home. :(
Now its just time to plan our next Disneyland Trip!
o wait. we have. see you in a few weeks mickey!

one more thing.
a little forshadowing for the next post.
the last thing i did in cali was take one of these. and it looked just like this one.